No one said parenting was easy, least of all when it comes to managing a toddler’s emotions. Navigating temper tantrums can be tricky business as untangling those strong emotions can be a difficult thing to do. But with a few tips and tricks, you can unlock the key to understanding and managing tantrums and help your child become better equipped to navigate their own emotions.
1. Unravelling the Mystery of Toddler Tantrums
As any parent will tell you, toddler tantrums can be baffling and immensely frustrating. What looks like an irrational explosion on the surface can in fact be a complex combination of emotions which can be difficult even for the most seasoned parent to unravel.
- Expectation Vs Ability – If a child is feeling overwhelmed by expectations they cannot meet, they may express this frustration through a tantrum. It is important to be aware of what your toddler can and cannot do, so that they are not overtaxed.
- Hunger – A growling tummy can quickly erupt into a full-blown tantrum episode, even in adults! Be responsive to your toddler’s hunger needs before they reach the frustration tipping point.
- Sleep – Every parent knows the importance of a good night’s sleep and this is especially true for toddlers. If you sense your toddler’s arousal levels creeping up, a nap might be just what the doctor ordered.
It is important to understand that toddlers are not ‘throwing tantrums’ to deliberately push our buttons. An outburst of emotion is a child’s way of communicating their needs. By taking the time to interpret the underlying message, parents can be better equipped to help soothe the situation and to take practical steps to prevent the same tantrums from occurring again.
Moreover, being in tune with our children’s feelings can help foster a vital bond and give them the security of feeling truly heard and understood. Mapping out the triggers of tantrums and equipping ourselves with the tools to react calmly and assertively will enrich the relationship between parent and child, as well as making life a lot less confusing for the entire family.
2. Recognising the Signs of an Oncoming Tantrum
It’s common for young children to have outbursts when their limits are met or when they become overwhelmed with strong emotion. As challenging as it can be, understanding and recognising these toddler tantrums before they occur is the key to defusing the situation smoothly. Here are some tips for spotting an oncoming tantrum meltdown:
- Your child might start to scream, cry, or whine if they are feeling frustrated during a certain activity or when they can’t get what they want.
- They might act up or be defiant in response to your requests.
- Unusual or repetitive behaviors might include running, banging their head, or making loud noises.
Watch for Body Language Cues
Kids often display visible cues before their temper erupts. Pay attention to their body language and facial expressions, as this can indicate when they are about to become overwhelmed, frustrated or angry. Signs to watch out for include crossed arms, tensing their jaw, or clenching their fists. It might also be helpful to make note of specific triggers and situations that seem to set off your child’s tantrums.
Listen To What Your Child Has To Say
While it may be difficult to find calm in the heat of the moment, it’s important to attempt to listen to what your child is saying. This way, you can give them the time and space they need to communicate their feelings. By helping your child to understand their emotions better, you can equip them with the skills that they need for self-regulating their behavior in the future.
3. Preparing for Safely Navigating Your Toddler’s Tantrum
If your toddler’s tantrum is about to begin, it can be hard to navigate. However, there are some steps you can take to help your toddler feel better and make the situation less stressful.
- Stay Calm: The best approach is to stay calm and not get angry. Yelling or trying to shout over your toddler will only further enrage them. Instead, take a few deep breaths and speak softly to your toddler to help them calm down.
- Listen: Listen to your toddler’s emotions without passing judgment or trying to talk them out of feeling those emotions. By listening, you let them know that their emotions are valid and you accept them.
- Show Empathy: Show empathy by making eye contact with your toddler and reflecting on the emotions they’re feeling. Try to use phrases like “I understand” or “I see that you’re feeling…”
Ultimately, communicating with your toddler in these ways will help them feel heard, accepted, and in control of their emotions. The tantrum will eventually end, and you’re teaching them the importance of expressing themselves in a safe, constructive manner.
You don’t necessarily have to fix the problem for them, as many times there is no obvious solution. Simply just be there for them and try to provide comfort and understanding as best as you can.
4. Taking Care of Your Toddler’s Undesirable Emotions
Most parents worry about their toddler’s emotional outbursts. In the face of overwhelming emotions, it’s easy to get upset and frustrated. But taking the time to understand your toddler’s feelings will be beneficial for her development in the long-run. Here are a few tips for dealing with your toddler’s undesirable emotions:
- Stay Calm and Empathetic: Attempting to soothe your toddler with a calm, collected attitude will help her overcome her emotions. Modeling behaviors like taking deep breaths and expressing how you feel verbally can be incredibly valuable.
- Identify and Acknowledge: Making sure to identify the source of your toddler’s feelings is a crucial part of caring for her emotions. Acknowledge the emotion and validating it openly is an important step in getting her through the emotional hurdles.
- Create a Safe Environment: As a parent, serve as an emotional anchor for your toddler. If you can provide her with a non-judgemental, safe environment to express her feelings, she’ll be ahead of the curve when it comes to dealing with difficult emotions.
It’s important to remember that stress and negative emotions are a part of life, and your toddler will have to learn how to cope in her own way. Being there to support her without making it about “winning or losing” will help your toddler navigate difficult feelings and process them in a healthy manner.
No matter how challenging toddler tantrums can be, with patience and consistency, parents can temper these emotional storms and help their child to develop the skills to navigate their own emotions. With the proper guidance and support, parents and toddlers alike can learn to work their way through tantrums and beyond.
